


The Devil on Your Shoulder

by YouCantKeepMeDown



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Wings, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mention of torture, Self-Harm, Sleep Deprivation, Slow Build, What-If, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-19 17:39:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8219497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouCantKeepMeDown/pseuds/YouCantKeepMeDown
Summary: „Hey, Sam. What's the longest a normal human being's gone without sleep? Eleven days. Hey, you always wanted to be normal, Sam. If you are, you'll be dead in a week!"What if Sam had talked to Lucifer after he said those words? (Instead of getting hit by a car)A Hallucifer-Story, in which Sam makes a deal with the devil to get some sleep. Starts during "The Born-Again Identity" and goes off track from there.





	1. Making a Deal

**Author's Note:**

> It always bugged me, that Sam just stopped talking to Lucifer after "Repo Man". They worked so well together! I wanted to see more of it, both of them always in conflict, but making such a good team regardless. If you felt the same, this fic is for you.
> 
> This is my first fanfiction and I'm still trying to find my way around. Also, I'm not a native speaker. I did my best with the grammar and everything. Hope it's not too bad.

„Hey, Sam. What's the longest a normal human being's gone without sleep? Eleven days. Hey, you always wanted to be normal, Sam. If you are, you'll be dead in a week!"

Sam stops in his tracks. He turns to face Lucifer, who had been walking right behind him, acknowledging his existence for the first time in days. „You actually want to kill me?" That had never occurred to him before. Maybe because it hadn't been an option in the pit, where the fallen angel had been tearing into his immortal soul. Sam had just assumed Lucifer wanted to take up good old traditions again, torturing the hell out of him and all that. Not killing him. Killing him would put an end to the fun. „You want me dead?"

Lucifer rolls his eyes at Sam's shocked tone. „Why not? Because you're my favorite plaything? If you want to keep that title, try being a bit more entertaining. Ignoring me is getting boring pretty fast."

Sam huffs. Count on the devil to make is sound like it's Sam's fault that he's trying to kill him.

Lucifer shakes his head sadly. „If you'd at least talk to me, Sam ..."

„If I talk to you, you'll let me sleep?" Of course he won't, that'd be way too easy.

But Lucifer cocks his head a slow smile tugging at his lips. „Is that an offer?"

Sam knows he shouldn't do this, he shouldn't talk to Lucifer at all. That's what got him into this mess in the first place. But it's not like it can get any worse, really. That's why the next thing he says is: „Maybe."

Now that smile is all there, full of predatory delight. „Are we talking about talking to me once or talking to me all day long? Whenever I want you to?" How does he manage to make that sound so dirty?

Sam sighs. He can't believe he's actually haggling with the devil, but he's so tired right now, he would do almost anything for a few hours of sleep. „When we're alone", he offers.

„Cute. Still trying not to come across as crazy in front of other people? Because, you know, you totally are."

Sam tries to glare at Lucifer, but it's hard with eyes that are raw and burning and can hardly see straight from sleep deprivation.

„All right." Lucifer taps his chin, as if he really is considering the offer. Sam guesses it's a fifty fifty chance that he's just acting to get Sam's hopes up just and crush them in the next instant. He's dealing with the devil here after all. And he still doesn't know, if that's a good idea.

„I can grant you four hours of sleep for that every night." That sounds way more tempting, then it should.

„Four hours?" Sam tries not to look like he's desperate, even though he is. „Come on!"

„Five hours, if you beg for it." Lucifer leans into his personal space, grin wide. Sam can almost feel hot breath on his face. Except he can't, because Lucifer only exists in his head, he reminds himself. „On your knees."

Now that sounds definitely dirty. Sam takes a step back. „Not going to happen."

The fallen angel shrugs. „Four hours it is then. Take it or leave it."

Sam tries to think, but his thoughts are all foggy from lack of sleep. It can't get any worse, can it? And it's not like talking to Lucifer is particularly hard. Ignoring him all the time is what's getting more and more difficult. If they're on talking terms he can also snap at the devil, when he gets annoying. That's a plus. Still, he can't shake the feeling, he's making a mistake.

„Okay," he says after a while. Because making mistakes around demons seems to be a recurring theme in his life anyway.

Lucifer shouldn't be able to look so much like a cat, that just stole a whole turkey, but he does.

\-----

When Sam gets back to the motel, Dean is still snoring in his bed. Sam collapses on his own. And suddenly Lucifer is there, planting the ghost of a mocking kiss on his forehead. „Sleep tight."

„Fuck you," Sam mumbles, before he drifts off.


	2. Kelpies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Go on, tell him", he says. "No, wait. Don't. Tell him everything is fine, even though both of you know that 'fine' is Winchester for 'Everything is going to hell right now'. That's what you normally do, isn't it? Your family is so fucked up."
> 
> "Says the guy, who was trying to end the world over a fight with his father."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know lack of sleep doesn't really kill you. But that seemed to be the premise in the show, so I'm running with it.

"End of passion play, crumbling away/I'm your source of self-destruction."

Sam groans. He turns away from the singing voice and pulls the blanket over his head. It doesn't help.

"Veins that pump with fear/Sucking darkest clear/Leading on your death's construction."

Is that "Master of Puppets"?

"Taste me, you will see/More is all you need/You're dedicated to/How I'm killing you."

The fucking devil is singing "Master of Puppets".

Sam groans again. "Shut up."

Lucifer stops singing and laughs. "Not a fan of Metallica?"

"Not when I'm this tired. This is torture ..."

"Oh Sam," Lucifer tuts. "But that's the point."

Sam tries to blink the sleep away and rolls on his back. A sideways glance tells him that Dean's bed is empty, and now he hears the sound of the shower in their small motel bathroom. It stops soon after, and he hears Dean rummaging around.

Sam sits up and rubs his burning eyes. "No way that was four hours."

At the foot of the bed Lucifer grins. "Four hours plus five minutes. Consider it a gift."

"How generous."

"Sam?"

Sam flinches. He blames his lack of sleep for the fact that he didn't hear the bathroom door open. Now Dean is standing there, towel around his waist and a concerned look on his face. "Please tell me you're just talking to yourself, Sammy."

Fuck.

"I thought you and Lucy were on non-speaking terms." There is an accusation in Dean's voice.

"Oh, a nickname," Lucifer observes. "Am I part of the family already?"

Sam buries his face in his hands. All he needs is some peace and quiet, then he'd be able to figure out what to tell Dean. But apparently the devil doesn't do peace and quiet.

"Go on, tell him", he says. "No, wait. Don't. Tell him everything is fine, even though both of you know that 'fine' is Winchester for 'Everything is going to hell right now'. That's what you normally do, isn't it? Your family is so fucked up."

"Says the guy, who was trying to end the world over a fight with his father", Sam says, before he remembers that Dean's still watching.

But it's worth it, because Lucifer goes still for a moment. Something like hurt or anger or both flickers in his eyes. But then it's gone and he is acting again, clutching at his heart in a dramatic gesture.

Sam turns to Dean, who is still staring at him, his brows furrowed in concern. "I'm talking to him again."

"But that's what got you into this mess in the first place!" Dean shakes his head as if he can't believe it.

Sam shrugs. "If I talk to him, he lets me sleep."

Finally Dean gives up his spot at the bathroom door and tries to find some clothes. "You don't look well rested to me."

"But I did sleep!"

Dean fishes a t-shirt out of his duffle bag. His face has "I don't like this." written all over it.

"He's judging you again," Lucifer says. "He thinks you might become dangerous under my influence. You are the resident freak after all."

Sam grits his teeth and tries to not give in to the urge to punch Lucifer in the face. He needs to concentrate on winning some sanity points with Dean. So he takes a deep breath. "Dean, lack of sleep can kill you."

Dean freezes, arm half stuck in his t-shirt. "What?"

"You heard me. And it's not like I'm sacrificing virgins in his name or something like that. I'm just talking to him."

"Virgins are overrated anyway," Lucifer chimes in.

Sam just keeps looking at Dean. His brother finally sighs and pulls the t-shirt on the rest of the way. "Promise me, you'll say something, if things go bad." He pauses. "I mean more bad."

"Promise," Sam says relieved. Maybe they're finally learning how to deal with things like that.

Suddenly, Lucifer is sitting besides him on the bed. He leans over, and Sam can almost feel a hand on his shoulder. "Yes, tell your big brother, when I'm being mean to you. That'll make things better."

Sam sighs again.

\----------------

In Canaan, Maine, something pulls people under water to drown and eat them. In a new motel room Dean thumbs through John's journal, a bit lost. "There's a shitload of monsters that drown people."

"Do they all eat them, too?" Sam asks, because they need something they can work with here.

Dean shrugs. "Most of them seem to think that humans make good midnight snacks."

"It's a Kelpie." Lucifer is lounging on Sam's bed, hands behind his head.

Sam ignores him.

The fallen angel sits up. "Kelpie, Sam! Didn't you see the hoofprints? Kelpies manifest as horses."

Sam shoots him a glance. Dean knowing is one thing, but he doesn't want to talk to Lucifer, while his brother is right there. But being acknowledged seems to be all the devil wants from him. He lies back, looking way too comfortable on Sam's bed. "Have I ever lied to you?"

Sam opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again. There had been hoofprints in the mud, when they'd been looking around near the river earlier that day.

When Sam turns back to his brother, Dean's face looks grim. He stares at the bed, then at Sam, then back at the bed. "Lucy got anything to say to this?" he finally asks.

Sam sighs. "Lucy ..." He stresses the nickname, because it's really ridiculous, but there's a chuckle from his bed.

"I like it, when you say it." Lucifer winks at him, and Sam hurries to correct himself.

"Lucifer says it's a Kelpie."

"Does he?" Dean thumbs through the journal again, until he finds what he's looking for. For a while he's just reading. Then he swears.

\------

The devil is even more unbearable, when he is right. Of course it was a Kelpie, and Sam and Dean were all soaked by the time they managed to kill it.

When they get back to the motel, dripping river water everywhere, Lucifer is waiting for them, still lying on Sam's bed. "Say: 'Thanks, Lucifer, for saving us tons of research,'" he demands.

Sam shoots him a dirty look, then leaves, tracking muddy footprints on his way to the bathroom.

\-----

Later, Dean is snoring in his bed. Sam stands at the foot of his own, glaring at a certain fallen angel, who pats the mattress besides him. "You look tired, Sam," he says with a wolfish grin.

"Not tired enough to cuddle with you."

"Oh, Sam! You're hurting my feelings!"

Sam pulls a chair from under the small table, the only other furniture in their room, and sits. "Why did you help us?"

Lucifer shrugs. "The Kelpie would have eaten you, if you hadn't known what you were dealing with. And watching that might have been fun, but only for a very short while."

That almost makes sense in a very twisted way. "My chances of not being eaten by anything would be a lot better, if I could get a decent night's sleep." It's worth a try, isn't it? Reasoning with the devil.

Lucifer gets up and crosses the room in a long stride. He stops way too close, looking down at Sam, blue eyes serious now and trying to stare right through to his soul. "I still want to see you beg. Or even better ..."

He leans down, places his hands on the armrests on both sides of Sam. Of course he's not really there. He only exists in Sam's head. But knowing that doesn't help at all. Sam swallows.

Lucifer's voice is low and rough. "Take a knife. One cut for every half of an hour of sleep. I can't hurt you ... physically that is. But you could do it for me."

"That's sick." Sam tries to sound unimpressed, but there's a cold shiver running down his spine.

The fallen angel shrugs and straightens.

Sam breathes a bit more freely again. "Really," he says, mostly to shake the tension. "Did your father create you as a psychopath or is that something that happened later?"

Another shrug. "I spent more time in hell than anyone else."

After that he falls uncharacteristically silent. Sam takes the opportunity to crawl into his now empty bed. He tries not to think of hell at all, and what it could do even to an angel given enough time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, that got a bit dark at the end. But there's a point here about Lucifer beeing broken, and I hope it'll become more clear in the next chapters, what I'm trying to do with that.
> 
> Btw: I won't be able to update this fast all the time, but I'm not planning on abandoning this story.


	3. Sirens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _„So ...,“ Sam tries, „does this hurt your ego or something?“_  
>  That gets a startled laugh. „Do you really think I’m that proud?“  
> Sam shrugs. „Not sure, but in some dictionaries there might actually be a picture of you, when you look up ‚pride’.“
> 
>  
> 
> A chapter in which we learn a bit more about Sam's time in the cage. Also Sirens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, writing fanfiction is officially addicting. I'm writing this way too fast. I should do other things. But here you go, another chapter. A long one even.
> 
> Warning: It's getting dark again at the end.

There’s a Siren at the Acadia National Park luring boats to their doom, crashing them on the cliff shore. They didn’t know it was a Siren, when they got there, but part of Sam is pretty sure now. The rest of him is grinning like an idiot, while Dean navigates their stolen motorboat directly towards said cliff. The song of the siren is stuck in his head like the most annoying version of „Last Christmas“, and he knows they’ll shatter and drown in a few minutes, but there is nothing he can do about it. Nothing he wants to do about it actually.  
Fingers snap in front of his face.  
„Focus, Sam.“  
Then he’s staring into Lucifers pale blue eyes, and the siren’s song loses it's grip on him.  
„Fuck,“ he says.  
The devil grins. „I take it that means: Thanks Lucifer, for hauling my ass out of the fire.“  
And he actually had, hadn’t he? „Thanks,“ Sam mutters, because fair is fair. Then he turns to Dean. His brother’s gaze is still fixed on a small beckoning figure standing on the rock they’re going to smash into. Sam tries to shove him away from the controls, but Dean doesn’t budge.  
„Can you snap him out of it, too?“  
Lucifer rolls his eyes. „I’m in your head, not in his.“  
Ah yes. Sam blames the siren’s song and the lack of sleep for the fact, that he temporarily forgot how his hallucination of the devil works.  
„So, how do I snap him out of it?“  
The fallen angel shrugs. „In the Odyssey Ulysses’ men protect themselves by sealing their ears with molten wax. And Orpheus saves the Argonauts from the sirens by playing something louder and more beautiful on his lyre.“  
„Well read, aren’t you?“  
Lucifer leans closer. „Will you admit you find that hot?“  
Sam huffs, and he most definitely doesn’t blush, not even a little. Also, that rock is getting dangerously close, and they don’t have any molten wax and no lyre lying around.  
So Sam swings. His fist hits Dean square in the jaw, and his brother drops like a rock. Sam catches him, before he can hit his head on the ground, and lets him slide down carfully.  
„Well,“ Lucifer says. „That’s the Winechster solution, I guess.“  
Sam takes control of the motorboat and slows them down. „The Winchester solution?“  
„Not very elegant, but it gets the job done.“  
Sam doesn’t know, if he should feel insulted or not.  
The siren is still singing. He can hear her song, knows how beautiful it is. Understands the things it promises. But it’s like Lucifer has erected a wall between him and the music, it doesn’t get to him anymore. Who’d have thought that it’d ever come in handy, hallucinating the devil?  
„How do you kill a siren?“  
Lucifer’s leaning on the boat’s rail, head tilted towards the sun, looking like they’re on a weekend trip or something. „Don’t ask me. They don’t even belong to my part of mythology.“  
Yeah, sure. That’s why he knows the Odyssey and the legend of the Argonauts by heart. Sams first instinct is to just shrug and call Bobby instead. It’s not like he needs the help of a fallen angel to solves this problem. Then he remembers that Bobby is dead. Fuck.  
„Come on, Lucifer, don’t play dumb on me!“  
Lucifer’s head turns, and blue eyes catch Sam’s. „You’re asking for my help?“ There is an intensity to his gaze that makes Sam shudder. And he knows he should say no, because that look means there’s nothing good coming out of this. But Sam is tired and he wants to get this over with, before Dean wakes up again. Who cares if he’s getting reckless?  
„I’m asking you for information.“  
„And you’re actually trusting me enough that you think I’ll tell the truth?“ Is that hunger in those eyes? Like he wants nothing more then Sam to confirm what he just said.  
„I think, if you wanted to kill me by method of siren, you could just let that song get to me again.“ And that’s it, isn’t it? He’s relying on the devil to have his back here. That’s an unsettling thought.  
Lucifer chuckles. „You’ll be saying thank you so much tonight, Sammy.“ And there we go again. Completely harmless things, that shouldn’t sound that dirty.  
„Try beheading,“ the fallen angel says after a while, „and burning the remains afterwards for good measure.“

\-----

Dean comes to, when Sam is still busy with the pyre, headless corpse of the siren lying besides it. Sam fills him in as good as he can.  
„So,“ Dean says after a while. „Your hallucination of the devil saved our butts.“  
„Looks like it.“  
„And I thought after an angel of the lord, a trickster god, who actually was an angel of the lord, too, and fucking death himself, the list of people, who did us a favor couldn’t get more strange! But sure, your halluzination of the devil was definitely missing there until now.“  
Never far away Lucifer chuckles.  
Dean starts helping with the pyre, and together they throw the siren on it. Sam soaks it in fuel, and Dean throws a lighter on it. They watch the flames.  
„Did he give a reason?“, Dean asks after a while.  
Sam shrugs. „He’s bored, and we’re entertaining? I really don’t know.“ He shoots Lucifer a glance, but all he gets is a cryptic smile.  
Dean follows his gaze. „Is he there?“  
Sam sighs. „He’s always there.“  
„What? Does he even follow you to the bathroom? Dude has no sense for personal boundaries, doesn’t he?“  
Lucifer laughs, the least manical laugh Sam has ever heard from him. 

\-----

„You’ll be all right?“, Dean asks later in their motel room, already half asleep.  
„I’m fine.“ Sam is sitting at the table, laptop open. „I’m not tired yet.“  
„You shouldn’t lie that badly, Sam“, Lucifer scolds from across the table.  
Dean doesn’t look like he believes him either, but he turns around, and soon he’s snoring again. Sam starts to hate that sound really badly, because it shows him what he can’t have: A truely restfull night.  
„Are you going to beg tonight?“ There’s one of those slow smiles tugging at Lucifer’s lips. Maybe he senses how tired Sam is.  
„You do lie, you know that?“ Sam says instead of an answer, because that’s something that just crossed his mind.  
„I do?“ There’s curiosity in those blue eyes.  
„You told me you’d never hurt me.“  
And now there’s something that almost looks like guilt. Which is completely impossible, because this is the devil, and he tried to destroy the world without even considering it might be a bad idea. Sam can’t imagine him feeling guilty for anything.  
„I really meant that, when I said it.“  
„Sure ...“  
Lucifer leans across the table, as if it’s really important that Sam believes him. „I did.“  
Sam stares at him for a while. Strange. He almost looks sincere. „So what changed?“ Because it doesn’t matter, if he believes or not, he wants to hear the reasoning for that.  
„We ended up in hell together.“  
„You mean, you didn’t get, what you wanted, and you got angry.“  
„No.“ Lucifer leans back, considers for a while. „I mean, yes, I was angry at first. But even I can’t keep up that much anger over centuries.“  
„So after that you tortured me just for shits and giggles?“ It takes all of Sam’s willpower not to raise his voice. He doesn’t remember much. He tries not to remember much. But there are flashes of Lucifer and Michael tearing into him. Mostly Lucifer, watching him with fascination, while he takes him apart.  
Sam blinks at the memory. Fascination.  
The fallen angel says nothing, just looks at him.  
„So I won’t even get an explanation?“ Sam gets up, walks towards his bed. „Fuck you.“  
„Sam,“ Lucifer says behind him.  
He ignores him. Four hours of sleep are better than nothing, and getting them now is better than being silently stared at.  
„Before I got thrown into the cage, I was never alone. There was always a connection. My brothers in my thoughts.“ Lucifer's voice is low, and when Sam turns, he is not prepared for the hurt in those blue eyes.  
„The cage was loneliness and silence. It almost drove me mad. Maybe not almost. It did, just a bit.“  
Sam crosses his arms. „I hope you don’t expect pity from me.“  
Lucifer laughs bitterly. „No. You asked. I’m just trying to explain what happened.“  
„But this time you had Michael with you.“  
„He shut me out. After the first rage went away, he just folded into himself. I couldn’t reach him.“  
„Ever thought about talking to me then? You know. Conversations. Those things you have with people you don’t want to kill or wear to the prom.“  
That gets him a low chuckle. The fallen angel leans back in his chair, a bit less tense now. „Talking is not even close to a real connection.“  
Sam walks back to his chair, sits. It’s not like he wants to be close to Lucifer right now. The other side of the planet wouldn’t be far enough away, but Dean is sleeping in his bed, and the last thing he wants, is to wake him with talk like this. „But torture is?“  
He’s never realized it before, but it matters to him. To get an explanation for what he’s gone through. As if it could make the scars go away. The nightmares.  
There’s more silence for a while. Then Lucifer sighs. „What are you thinking about right now?“  
What kind of question is that supposed to be? If Dean could have heard it, he’d have made fun of it for the next hour or so. It's something a girl would ask.  
„You’re in my head, aren’t you?“ Sam snaps.  
„Yes and I know. But do you?“  
This is getting ridiculous. „Sure I know what I’m thinking! Mostly about you beeing annoying as hell.“  
Lucifer points at him as if he had just made an important point. „Mostly.“  
Sam narrows his eyes. „Are you beeing cryptic on purpose?“  
„You’re also thinking about your time in the cage. Another part of you is concentrating on suppressing those memories, and you’re worried that your brother might hear your part of this conversation. And then there’s that small voice asking, if you might be going crazy right now. Most of your consciousness isn’t concentrating on me at all!“  
„So ...,“ Sam tries, „does that hurt your ego or something?“  
That gets a startled laugh. „Do you really think I’m that proud?“  
Sam shrugs. „Not sure, but in some dictionaries there might actually be a picture of you, when you look up ‚pride’.“  
A lazy grin, as if he's happy about that. Then Lucifer looks like he’s searching for words. That’s a first. After a moment there’s a sound of frustration. „Do us both a favor, get a knife and let me demonstrate.“  
Sam’s hand is in the pocket of his jacket, before he can think about it. He wants to understand, he desperately needs to understand. So he fishes out a pocket knife and flips it open.  
Lucifer’s smile is all predator in an instant. „If I’d known, that all it would take was to get you by your curiosity ...“  
„Want to go on, before I realize, what a stupid idea this is?“ Sam snaps.  
The fallen angel leans forward again. „Cut your arm.“  
Sam has done this a dozen times. To draw blood for a ritual, to prove that he’s human. Doing it, when the devil wants him to is something different. But best case scenario is that he can call bullshit on Lucifer's rambling afterwards and get some more sleep. He rolls up his sleeve, places the blade on his skin.  
„Look at me.“ Sometimes he almost forgets, that Lucifer is an archangel. But that command is all power and hard to disobey. „Look and me and then cut.“  
He does. It's far too late to stop this anyway.  
There is the familiar sharp pain, and it cuts through all that background chatter in his brain he didn’t even know was there. For a moment all of his worries and memories go silent. For a moment there is only the pain and Lucifer watching him. His world focuses on those two things. And those blue eyes go wide just a bit, while the blade digs deeper into Sam’s flesh. „There,“ the devil says, his voice rough. „That’s a connection. That’s you concentrating on nothing but me and the pain. That’s something only strong emotions can do. And fear and pain are best. Even better, when I’m the reason for them.“  
„That really is sick.“ Sam wipes the knife on his jeans and puts it away.  
Lucifer shrugs. „We all make do with what we have.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere I read that the things Lucifer says here about connection are one of the reasons psychopaths kill people. Because they can't establish any kind of emotional connection to other people any other way. Don't know, if that's true, but it kind of fits here.


	4. Baku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer grins. „We have so much in common, you know? So much pride.“ But there is something else in his blue eyes. An echo of the loneliness he has admitted to yesterday. And now that Sam can finally think clearly again he realizes he isn’t the only one, who had been vulnerable last night. Lucifer has as good as told him, that he desperately wants something from him. Needs something. A connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to have some more explanations, but it was getting longer and longer, so I figured I'd post it now and do the explaining next chapter.
> 
> Also, I took a bit of artistic license with the baku. Normally they're supposed to be mostly nice, but from what I read there are some hints that they can get nasty, if they want to. I hope it works.

Sam is woken by the sun shining directly in his face. He blinks and sits up. He blinks again, realizing his eyes don’t burn from lack of sleep. He feels ... rested.  
In a way that is a bit unsettling. He looks around and finds Lucifer sitting in the same chair he’d occupied last night. The fallen angel meets his confused gaze with a raised eyebrow.  
„How long did I sleep?“  
Lucifer shrugs. „Nine or ten hours.“  
Sam just stares at him. Is this a new head game?  
The motel room door opens and Dean strides in, cup holder with two cups of coffee in one hand, big paper bag and today’s newspaper in the other. His expression darkens, when he sees Sam. „Do you know how hard it was to let you sleep?“  
„What?“  
Dean closes the door with a kick, places the things he brought on the table. „What did you promise him for letting you sleep that long?“  
Ah, that was the matter.  
Lucifer leans back in his chair. „Heartwarming how much he trusts you, isn’t it?“  
Sam sighs. „Nothing, Dean. I promise.“  
When he pushes himself up a little more, the cut in his arm protests with dull pain and reminds that what happened yesterday was far from nothing. But it shouldn’t have bought him that much more sleep.  
Dean frowns. „So Lucy is gone?“  
Automatically Sam looks at Lucifer, and Dean follows his gaze. He’s getting good at picking up the small clues.  
„How’s your arm, Sam?“ Lucifer asks.  
Sam has to concentrate on keeping his hands still, not reaching for the cut.  
„Almost the opposite of that scar on your hand, isn’t it? Reminds you of me every time it hurts.“  
„What’s he saying?“ Dean asks  
Sam tears his gaze away, concentrates on his brother. „Nothing helpful. I don’t know, what he’s playing at. But I swear we didn’t make a deal.“  
„It’s easy, Sam.“ Lucifer leans forward. „I’m showing you that I can be generous, if you stop beeing so stubborn.“  
So that’s what this is. A treat the devil threw him, because he performed a nice trick.  
„Great,“ Dean says. „Just great.“  
Sam says nothing, just tries to swallow his anger.  
Lucifer grins. „We have so much in common, you know? So much pride.“ But there is something else in his blue eyes. An echo of the loneliness he admitted to yesterday. And now that Sam can finally think clearly again he realizes he isn’t the only one, who had been vulnerable last night. Lucifer has as good as told him, that he desperately wants something from him. Needs something. A connection.  
Sam stares at him thoughtfully, until Dean waves a hand in front of his eyes.  
„When you’re done making mooneyes at your invisible boyfriend, there’s breakfast.“  
Lucifer laughs, while Sam huffs and takes one of the cups of coffee.  
„Also, I found something we should check out.“ Dean waves the newspaper around.  
„What is it?“ Sam asks, sipping his coffee. His eyes follow Lucifer, as he gets up, stands way too close to his brother for Sam’s liking. But all he does is peer over Dean's shoulder to read whatever story Dean has found there.  
This time Sam’s brother doesn’t catch the clues. „People go to sleep and don’t wake up anymore,“ he explains. „Well, no, they do wake up, but ...“  
„Dream eaters“, Lucifer says.  
„What?“ Sam can’t help it.  
„There are ... things, that eat people’s dreams. And sometimes they don’t stop there. They take their hopes, too, everything they’d wished for. When those people wake up in the morning, they’re ... hollow.“  
Finally Dean realizes Sam is staring at something right behind his left shoulder. He pulls a face. „He is standing right behind me, isn’t he? For god’s sake, Sammy, tell you pocket devil to keep some distance, will you?“  
„Don’t worry.“ Lucifer sounds distracted, he is still reading. „I’m not going to touch what is Michael’s.“  
Sam almost chokes on his coffee.

\-------

Back on the road Sam tells Dean about Lucifer’s dream eater theory. They’ve come to a silent understanding that it’s worth hearing the devil out, when he has something to say about monsters. Even though Sam has some questions about how this is working at all. If Lucifer is a hallucination he should only know what Sam knows, too. If he knows more though, and he clearly does, then he doesn’t come from Sam’s mind alone.  
He should get to the bottom of this ... as soon as Dean is not sitting right next to him.  
The radio is playing „Sympathy for the Devil“, when Sam feels someone breathing down his neck. He manages not to jump and carefully turns around. Lucifer is in the backseat, leaning forwards.  
„Worried?“  
Sam nods.  
„Because of me?“  
Sam nods again, because he can’t hide that anyway.  
There’s a hand on his shoulder, even though he tells himself it can’t be there. „I’ll answer all your questions. But they’ll come with a price.“  
Sam can imagine what kind of price that will be.  
„I promise I won’t lie.“  
And Sam believes him, but Lucifer may omit important things, he may turn the truth around and twist it, until it’s not reconizable anymore. Sam wishes he could talk to someone about this. Someone who might know more then him. Bobby or even Castiel. But they’re dead like so many others.  
„Trust me, Sam.“  
That’s the last thing he wants to do.

\-----

During lunch at some roadside diner Sam takes out John’s journal. „In chinese and japanese mythology there is something called a Baku.“  
He shows Dean the picture of a beast that’s part elephant, part tiger and part ox. „They're supposed to be mostly harmless, but it looks like they can do what Lucifer told us, if you piss them off.“  
Beside him Lucifer tsks. „You know that even your own brother has lied to you more often than I have?“  
Dean studies the picture. „Ugly guy. Is there anything about how to kill it?“  
„No,“ Sam says.  
„A stake made of peach tree wood should do it,“ Lucifer says at the same time.  
Sam sighs. „Lucifer says peach tree wood.“  
Dean frowns. „That’s a bit too important to only take Lucy’s word for it.“  
With a huff Lucifer leans between them. „I think I’ve been too nice to you today.“  
„Also,“ Dean says, „any idea where we could get peach tree wood?“

\-----

Apparently there are quite a few orchards near Acadia National Park. So they make a small detour just in case Lucifer was right. Sam climbs over a fence, cuts a branch from a peach tree, and jumps back over that fence again, before anyone can notice. On his way back to the Impala, where Dean is waiting, he realizes he feels good. Like a small boy who’d just managed to steal some apples.  
Lucifer is walking beside him on the small dirt road, his hand in his pockets and looking quite content. Something definitely has changed since last night. The fallen angel reminds Sam more of the Lucifer before their fall down into the pit. The Lucifer of the apocalypse. Dangerous still, but more composed. That’s the Lucifer that had promised never to hurt him.  
„Remind me to take you to Eden some day.“  
Sam laughs. „And then what? Steal some apples from the tree of knowledge?“ Because that’s where his thoughts had been before. Stealing fruit.  
There’s a mischievous twinkle in the devil’s eyes, and Sam tries not to think about how good that makes him look.  
He clears his throat. „But isn’t the tree of knowledge old news? Been there, done that, got banished to earth for it.“  
„Well ...“ Lucifer shrugs. „Looking at mankind, you didn’t learn much from one bite of the apple. Maybe it’s worth a second try.“

\------

Gerald Hofer ist one of those people, who’d gone to sleep and had never quite come back. His wife leads Sam and Dean into their living room, where he sits on the sofa, expression blank.  
„He does, what I ask him to do,“ she explains. „He even answers simple questions. But that’s it. He is ... he's like a robot.“  
Dean waves his hand in front of the man’s face. He doesn’t even blink. Sam’s brother shudders, then leans closer to Sam, drops his voice. „I’m not going to sleep in this town, until we’ve killed the thing that did that.“  
Sam nods. The soft rustle of clothes tells him that Lucifer is standing right behind him. „Glad to have me with you now, Sam?“

\-----

Face to face the Baku is even more ugly than in the picture. On top of that he is almost as slippery as a ghost. He drifts through the walls on one side of the alley they found him in, vanishes from Sam’s sight for a moment.  
„Sam!“ Dean calls out.  
There’s movement in the corner of his eye. Sam turns, rises the stake made of peach wood.  
Too slow. Something hits him with force and he crashes into the side of the dumpster behind him. He crumples to the ground, stake clattering away. For a moment all he can do is try to breath. He can’t move, while the Baku is drawing near.  
„Sam!“ There’s the sound of a gun, but whatever Dean is shooting at the thing, it doesn’t seem to work.  
The next moment a figure steps between Sam and the Baku. He recognizes the blond hair, Nick’s sensible clothes. The Baku roars ...  
... and Lucifer spreads his wings.  
It’s hard to mistake the gesture for anything else then a warning, a threat directed at the Baku. „He's mine,“ Lucifer growls. And there are so many reasons that should tick Sam off. There are so many things he should think about. But all he can do is stare. Lucifer’s wingtips touch the walls of the alley, and they’re not made of feathers at all. They’re made of shadow and fire and shards of bright light. They’re beautiful.  
The Baku takes a step back, and how’s that even possible?  
„Lucifer?“  
The fallen angel turns to look at Sam. For a moment, he meets his gaze, and Lucifer’s eyes go wide. „Oh,“ he says. „Who’d have thought.“  
The Baku jumps.  
Before he can think, Sam lunges forwards. His fingers find a sleeve that shouldn’t be there at all, and he pulls Lucifer out of the way. For a moment something made of shadows and fire and bright light touches his face, and it feels hot and cold at once, a jolt going through his whole body.  
When he can think clearly again, Lucifer is gone, and there’s Dean, running the Baku through with the stake made of peach tree wood. The creature roars again, struggles a bit longer, dissolves.  
Dean lets the stake clatter to the ground. „You okay, Sammy?“  
Sam nods, eyes already searching the alley for Lucifer. The fallen angel isn’t far away, leaning against the wall.  
„What was that?“  
A slow smile spreads on Lucifer’s face. „I’d say, that was a connection. When you saw my wings, and again when you were touched by them briefly.“ He laughs. „Long time since someone looked at me with awe.“  
That’s not what Sam had meant.  
Lucifer shakes his head. „Later?“ He nods at Dean.  
Sam’s brother has that concerned look again. „Sure you’re all right?“  
Sam nods. „It’s just that Lucifer saved me. Again. And I really don’t want to make a habit out of that.“  
Also there is the fact that the Baku had been able to see his hallucination. And Sam had touched Lucifer. Not just felt like he was beeing touched, but actually grabbed the fallen angel and pulled him out of the way.  
He can’t say what is more unsettling. That this hallucination thing is getting more and more real or that he’d rushed to help the devil when he’d thought him in danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame some of the fics I read recently for the sudden appearance of wings. Those fic are great, by the way, by which I mean that I wish I could write fanfiction like that. You can check them out here http://archiveofourown.org/works/747501/chapters/1394242 and here http://archiveofourown.org/works/2734574/chapters/6127700  
> (Although I guess most people who read Samifer have already read them.)


	5. Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam finds out the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this was hard. I rewrote it a few times. Hope it works now.
> 
> Also: More wings.

Sam stares at his notbook screen without seeing anything, until he hears snoring from Deans bed. Within seconds he is on his feet, out of the room, striding across the parking lot. He needs a place, where no one will hear him talk to himself. He finds it behind some small windowless building. A streetlamp a few feet away gives barely enough light to see Lucifer looking around. „Very romantic, Sam ...“  
„Answers! Now!“  
The devil smirks. „Oh, I like it when you get pushy.“  
Sam takes a deep breath. He feels nauseatic. The longer he had waited for an opportunity to talk to Lucifer alone, the more he had gotten the feeling that he’d made a big mistake without knowing exactly how. „Why was that baku able to see you?“  
Lucifer takes a few steps towards him, hands in his pockets. „Come on, you can figure that out by yourself.“  
Sam sighs. What did he expect? That the devil will just answer his questions nice and clear?  
„Sam, what do bakus eat?“  
Dreams and hopes. Things out of peoples heads. Can it be that easy? „You mean, it was able to see you, because it can always see what’s in people’s heads?“  
„Clever boy.“  
„That doesn’t explain why he was afraid of you. And why I could push you out of the way.“  
Carefully Lucifer extends his hand, like he’s dealing with a wild animal he doesn’t want to scare. Sam backs away from him, until his back hits the wall of the building. He feels Lucifers fingers on his cheek.  
Sam gasps. For the first time since the cage Sam feels the cold coming from Lucifer. He holds his breath, waiting for a flashback, something nasty, because his memories of the fallen angel have a lot of that in stock. Instead all he remembers is how it felt to share a body with a being that powerful, how his soul had been engulfed by Lucifer’s grace. Sometimes, in his weaker moments, he wishes he could have that back.  
„If you believe you can touch me, you can,“ Lucifer says.  
„Then why keep me awake? Why this?“ Sam pulls up his sleeve to show the healing cut. „Why?“  
Lucifer’s smile gets more dangerous. „You mean, instead of just picking up, where I left off at the pit.“  
Sam shallows. Great, now he’s given the devil ideas.  
Lucifer’s finger trails down the side of his neck. „It’d all be in your head. Poor substitute for real pain.“  
„So you actually are only a hallucination?“  
Finally Lucifer pulls his hand back. „Sorry, free answers are out now.“  
„Dick.“  
The devil shrugged. „Let me have some fun.“  
„I’m not your toy!“  
„But you were made for me, Sam.“  
Sam clenches his fists. „Listen, Lucifer. If you are somehow more then a hallucination, if this is some kind of trick to get into my body again ...“  
The fallen angel shakes his head, but Sam doesn’t stop. „I’d rather die then watch you restart the apocalypse.“  
Those blue eyes regard him curiously. „What if you’d have to go back into the cage to stop me?“  
Just imagening it makes Sam sick. For a second he’s back, feels Lucifer tearing into his soul again.  
When the devil reaches for him this time, he jerks back and hits his head on the wall.  
There’s a frustrated sound deep in Lucifer’s throat. „You’re the only human I never wanted to hurt, Sam.“  
„Well, you fucked that up big time.“  
Lucifer scowls. „And you were supposed to understand me! You were made for me! All you had to do was say yes, and you’d have had the whole world at your feet.“  
„If we’re so much alike,“ Sam shoots back, „why don’t you understand that I don’t want the whole world at my feet?“  
For a while they just stare at each other. Emotions flit through Lucifer’s blue eyes. Anger and pride, but also a deep loneliness. It’s the loneliness that gets to Sam. He understands way better then he wants to admit. He understands the anger at a father who always wanted the things to be his way. Sometimes he even understands why Lucifer turned that anger against mankind. Even though Sam can never forgive that.  
Sam clears his throat. „So you want something for your answers?“  
Lucifer nods.  
„Show me your wings.“  
Lucifer looks surprised, but then he extends his wings. For a moment Sam’s breath catches in his throat again, but now he has time to take a closer look. They are beautiful, but they also look like they’ve been shattered into little pieces, like someone took those pieces and patched them back together again with threads of shadow and fire.  
„I liked your first reaction better.“  
When Sam tears his gaze away from the wings and looks into Lucifers eyes again, the fallen angel seems tense, nervous even.  
„Did they always look that way?“  
A bitter laugh. „Once you’d have gone blind just by looking at them.“  
Sam nods, then motions for Lucifer to come closer. To his surpised the fallen angel obliges. And Sam reaches out, lets his fingertips slide over fire and shadow and light.  
It’s not like he’s touching anything solid, more like he’s sticking his hand into an energy field. A shock goes through his arm and right into his soul. A taste of the power and ecstasy he felt, when they were curled around each other inside Sam’s body. Lucifer’s eyes go wide. Sam moves his fingers a bit, and the fallen angel gasps. He lets himself fall forwards, steadies himself on the wall behind Sam. His breath ghosts over Sam’s cheek.  
It’s hard, but Sam pulls back his hand. There’s an ache deep inside his chest at the loss of contact. „Is that what you wanted?“ he asks hoarsly.  
For a while Lucifer just breathes, then he nods.  
„But during all that time in the cage you didn’t think of this?“ Sam doesn’t even try to make it sound like anything else then an accusation.  
„This shouldn’t work with humans. It should singe your soul.“  
„I’m your true vessel, maybe that’s why it works.“  
A slow smile spreads on Lucifer’s face. „Say that again. The part about the true vessel.“  
„Eat me.“ But it’s hard not to reach out again. He wants to feel the connection. Something about Lucifer is calling out to him, like they really are two halves of a perfect whole. He rams his hands into his pocket. „So, are you going to answer my questions now?“  
„There are pieces of me left in your soul.“  
„What?“  
„We did share a body, and I did take you apart piece by piece. I left ... traces.“  
Sam shudders. Suddenly he feels trapped between Lucifer’s hands still planted on the wall on both sides of him. „When death got me out, he also took some pieces of you?“  
Lucifer nods. „It would have been that or leave pieces of you behind.“  
This had to be a nightmare. „So, what does that mean?“  
But the devil falls silent, only moves his wings a bit.  
Sam swallows and reaches out again. This time he’s the one to gasps, when the connection hits them. For a moment it sweaps all his worries away. Something that should by all means burn him shouldn’t feel that good. He rakes his fingers through a shard of light, and Lucifer closes his eyes, lowers his head.  
„What does it mean?“ Sam asks again.  
„That I’m still inside the cage with no way out,“ Lucifer says right beside his ear, voice rough. „But there is a link between me and your soul. You’re my anchor in the outside world.“  
With his free hand Sam shoves against Lucifer’s shoulder, and the fallen angel gives in. Now Lucifer is the one with his back to the wall, wings splayed out behind him. Sam takes a deep breath and shoves his hand deeper into fire and shadows and light. And now it feels like he is burning, but he doesn’t care.  
„Sam ...“ Lucifer watches him through half closed eyes.  
Sam tries to clear his thoughts. „So you need me to stay sane down there? You need this connection? That’s why you tortured me, too? Because the cage is driving you mad otherwise?“  
Lucifer nods.  
It’s one of the hardest things he’s every done, but Sam pulls back his hand. The loss of contact hurts worse this time, and Sam can’t say which one of them groans in frustration.  
He takes a shaking step back. „After everything you’ve done, I should just let you rot down there.“  
Lucifer straightens and folds he wings back inside Nick’s body. All of a sudden the street lamp is the only source of light. „You wouldn’t do that, Sam.“  
„Don’t be so sure.“  
A sad smile appears on Lucifer’s face. „I won’t beg for anything.“  
Of course, he’s too proud for that. „So you’ll try to trade again? A few hours of sleep for this connection?“  
Lucifer shrugs. „I shouldn’t do that either. It means hurting you again, further breaking that promise I made.“ But there is desperation in his eyes that tells Sam he will do it anyway. And Sam doesn’t know what he would do in Lucifer’s place.  
„Will you give me one day to think about all this?“  
A short nod, then the devil is gone. For the first time in days Sam is completely alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, obviously Sam doesn't know, if Lucifer tells the truth. But I like the idea that the devil really does not lie.


	6. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> „Do yourself a favor and shut up, before I get angry at you.“  
> Lucifer lifts an eyebrow at him. „Most of the time you're angry at me anyway.“  
> „I’m trying not to be at the moment. I defended you today! And all you do is make me regret it by ...“ Sam waves his hands. „... beeing you, I guess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read on Tumblr that Supernatural is known as the fandom that defends Lucifer. So here we go ... defending Lucifer ...
> 
> Don't read, if this somehow clashes with your religious believes. Even though I guess you wouldn't be reading Sam/Lucifer fanfiction, if it did.
> 
> Also, sex is mentioned. (Just mentioned. Don't get your hopes up.)

„It’s a trap.“  
Great. Now Dean is quoting Star Wars at him. And Sam hasn’t even told him about the chat he had with the devil last night.  
They’re sitting in a diner, and Dean is at his second burger. He takes another bite. „I mean,“ he says chewing, „doesn’t it creep you out that Lucy is letting you sleep all of a sudden?“  
„It mostly makes me feel less tired.“  
Dean raises an eyebrow at him. „So you’re not wondering what he’s up to?“  
Sam sighs and pushes the bowl with his half eaten salad away from him. „I was. That’s why I asked him about it last night.“  
Dean almost chokes on his burger. „You asked him? And what made you believe he’d tell you the truth?“  
„Because what he’s told me is not exactly working in his favor.“  
Dean makes his ‚I’m all ears’ face.  
So Sam tells him. Because that’s what they’ve promised to do. No keeping things from each other anymore. Even though he does keep the fact from Dean that he’d cut himself ... and most of the other stuff about the connection to be honest. At least it should be enough that Dean gets the gist.  
„So,“ his brother says after a while, „Lucy needs to chat to you now and then to stay sane inside that cage of his?“  
„Yeah ... chatting ...“ Sam tries not to feel like a liar.  
„And the reason you should be concerned for his sanity? From what I’ve seen during the apocalypse there’s not much left of that anyway.“  
„He doesn’t deserve this,“ Sam says, and where the fuck did that come from?  
Dean chokes for real this time and coughs for a while, until he can compose himself. „You’re kidding me, are you? We’re talking about the devil here. Satan. The adversary. Ruler of hell. The guy who tried to destroy the world ...“  
„To be fair, Michael and his angel friends tried to destroy the world just as much ...“  
„... and the guy who fucking tortured you in hell!“ Dean finishes.  
Sam knows that last part should concern him most of all, and it’s not forgiven, definitely not. But he also can’t find it in him to want revenge for it. He thinks about the loneliness in Lucifer’s eyes instead.  
He leans forward. „Listen, Dean ... Lucifer spent millennia inside that cage, before we ... I ... freed him.“  
„So what?“  
„He spent millennia cut off from everything and everyone, slowly going crazy from the loneliness. And for what? Because he told God he didn’t think humans were that great after all. Does that sound fair to you?“  
Dean opens his mouth, then closes it again. „Well,“ he says after a while, „he also started a rebellion.“  
„We started a rebellion, too, when we refused to go along with the apocalypse according to plan!“ Sam gets strange looks from neighbouring tables for that, so he does his best to lower his voice again. „Listen, I know he did some very bad stuff. I still have nightmares from some of it. But I think he did his time for that and more. He does not deserve to be left alone in that cage to rot forever. No one deserves that.“  
And that’s it. As soon as those words leave his mouth, Sam knows he’s made up his mind.  
Dean puts down his burger and shakes his head. „I don’t know, Sammy. Can we at least get a second opinion on that devil in your head thing?“  
Sam shrugs. „Sure. From whom?“  
He regrets that question immediately, because there’s so much hurt on Dean’s face. But after a moment it gets replaced by determination. „I’ll find someone.“  
„Okay,“ Sam says. What else could he say?

\------

They spend the rest of the day in a motel room with Dean on the phone and in front of Sam’s laptop. Sam tries to read and watch TV, but his eyes wander all the time. He thinks he sees a familiar figure on the chair in the corner, but when he looks closer, there is no one there. And he isn’t prepared for the disappointment that realization brings.  
He feels empty and cold. He wants to almost-burn his soul by touching angel wings again. And he hadn’t just really thought that, had he? Because it’s wrong on so many levels. He shouldn’t miss the devil.  
He can’t help but ask himself, if this is some new kind of addiction. Like the demon blood. But when he’s honest with himself, it’s nothing new. It’s there since they’d shared a body and he’d felt Lucifer’s grace wrap around his soul. That moment, when he’d realized that he’d never felt truly complete before.  
It’s harder to ignore now that he has touched Lucifer’s wings and felt a similar kind of connection again. This time without all the desperation and anger and fear he felt when Lucifer possessed him.  
Dean gasps. He gets up and grabs his car keys. „I have to check on something.“  
„What?“ Sam lowers the book he’d been staring at without reading.  
„Just stay there, Sammy. I’ll be back soon.“ Dean pauses. „Maybe tomorrow.“ By the door he pauses again. „Don’t do anything stupid, while I’m away. I mean it!“  
Then he’s gone.

\------

Sam lasts two hours, then the silence of the room gets too heavy to breath. He gets up, walks around the small town they’ve crashed in. He doesn’t remember the name. He tries not to think about the fact that he probably could pray to Lucifer like they’d done with Cas. He is still an angel after all. But Sam’s not going to pray to the devil. So he just waits, until the day he’d asked for is over. Because he has to prove to himself, that he doesn’t want Lucifer’s company that desperately.  
Lucifer is waiting in the chair in the corner, when Sam enters the motel room again. He leans back trying so hard to look relaxed that Sam thinks there might be an edge underneath. „Miss me?“  
Sam manages not to say yes. He just sits on his bed.  
Lucifer strolls over and sits beside him. Could fingers trail down Sam’s back, and he shudders. There’s a hum underneath Lucifer’s skin like the energies his wings are made off, but farther away, contained inside flesh.  
„So, what’s it going to be?“  
„I defended you today.“  
A smile tugs at Lucifer’s lips. „I can see it in your mind.“ And after a moment: „But I don’t like beeing pitied, you know?“  
„I don’t pity you. And get out of my head.“  
The smile becomes a grin. „That could prove difficult.“  
„You know what I mean. I’m not your plaything, I don’t belong to you and my thoughts are mine alone.“ Sam meets Lucifer’s gaze. „Could you at least try and respect that?“ He meant what he’d said to Dean, but that doesn’t mean he’ll take shit from the devil. There are some things that need to be addressed, even though all he wants to do is bury his hands in Lucifer’s wings.  
„Making demands now?“  
Sam scowls. „I don’t think it’s too much to ask to be treated like a person. Not a thing you own or a tool or a pet.“  
Lucifer manages to look hurt. „You’ve alway been more to me than just a tool.“ But than the grin creeps back again. „Though I have to admit I like the idea of you as my ...“  
Sam holds up his hand. „Finish that sentence, and I’ll let you rot in your cage even if it kills me.“  
It’s satisfying to see how fast the devil shuts up.  
„Fine,“ he says after a while. „I do respect you, you know, Sam? I really do. It’s the crawling, mindless rest of mankind I don’t like.“  
Sam huffs.  
„I’d compare them to ants, but that’d insult ants.“ At least there’s no real aggressiveness behind those words, it sounds more like Lucifer is stating a fact. He streches out on Sam’s bed.  
Sam turns a little to look at him. „Do yourself a favor and shut up, before I get angry at you.“  
Lucifer lifts an eyebrow at him. „Most of the time you're angry at me anyway.“  
„I’m trying not to be at the moment. I defended you today! And all you do is make me regret it by ...“ Sam waves his hands. „... being you, I guess. Talking about how much you hate humans.“  
Lucifer shrugs and folds his hands behind his head. „I’m trying to be honest with you here. I’ll never like your species.“  
„It’s not like your species isn’t mostly a bunch of dicks.“  
That gets a low chuckle from Lucifer. „I can agree with you on that.“ The fallen angel looks thoughtful for a moment. „We could also agree that we both don’t like demons. See, so much in common.“  
Sam laughs, and it feels like a knot comes loose in his chest. Without thinking about it, one of his hands creeps closer to Lucifer’s arm. He brushes against it with his fingertips, almost as if by accident. There really is some kind of energy humming underneath Lucifer’s skin. His grace most likely. Sam must have missed it last night, because he had been distracted by Lucifer’s wings.  
The fallen angel looks up at him. „Are you going to stare at me all night?“  
„I’m not staring.“  
„Yes you are. The way you look at me, I could really get ideas, you know?“  
Sam most definitely doesn’t blush. He clears his throat. „Yeah about that ...“ About what? What is he saying here? „I wanted to ask you something.“  
Lucifer pulls one hand out from under his head long enough to make a ‚Go on’ gesture.  
„The thing with the wings ... is that something angels do often ... I mean ... with each other. I mean ...“  
„Very eloquent, Sam.“  
Sam shoots the devil a dirty look.  
„You want to know if touching each other’s wings is a casual thing between angels?“ Lucifer says finally. „Or if it’s something intimate?“  
Sam nods.  
Lucifer grins. „It is. Intimate, I mean. Very.“  
With a groan Sam buries his face in his hands. „Don’t tell me it’s the angel version of sex or something.“  
He hears Lucifer chuckle again and doesn’t dare to look at him. „Angels don’t have sex. I learned about that from Lilith.“  
Sam dares to breath again. He lowers his hands again and decides to just ignore that last sentence. He doesn’t even want to imagine.  
„Also ... the connection you’re feeling, when you touch my wings ... It’s directly between my grace and your soul. Almost no flesh in the way. It’s a lot more intimate than ...“ Lucifer pulls a face. „... sticking body parts into each other.“  
Sam immediately regrets his question.  
„Not that I’d mind, if you’d want to try that.“ Lucifer must have practiced that look of innocence in front of a mirror for a long time. „Anything for you, Sammy.“  
„Don’t call me Sammy.“  
„So that’s your only problem with that idea?“  
„I don’t even want to start on all the problems I’m having with how this conversation turned out.“  
But Sam’s hand is still on Lucifer’s arm, feeling the low hum of the angel’s grace. He feels better than he did all day.  
„Well ...“ Lucifer says after a while, looking from Sam’s hand to his face and back. „I’m waiting for you to tell me what you want, you know?“  
„Oh, wow. What happened to telling me what I should want and saying that I’ll give in sooner or later?“  
„Apparently that wasn’t ‚treating you like a person’.“  
Sam laughs. „Who would have thought a beeing as old as you could still learn new things?“  
„Sam ...“  
„Okay. Fine ... But try not to make it awkward ... More awkward anyway.“  
Lucifers props himself up on his elbows, and the next instant his wings illuminate the room. Sam leans over him, touching, before he can think too much about it. He doesn’t even realize how close he gets, until he can breath in Lucifer’s gasps.  
It’s not awkward at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Sam and Lucy are getting more comfortable around each other. Kind of ...  
> And I'm totally using the wing thing as a way to avoid everything actually sexual, while still having scenes that are kind of exactly that. Don't know, if that even makes sense.


	7. Leviathans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> „Sam! Sam!"  
> Sam pulls the pillow over his head with a groan. „Lucifer ... I though we were over this!“  
> „Wake up, Sam! Leviathans!“  
> Sam is upright the next second. „Where?“

„Sam! Sam!"  
Sam pulls the pillow over his head with a groan. „Lucifer ... I thought we were over this!“  
„Wake up, Sam! Leviathans!“  
Sam is upright the next second. „Where?“  
Lucifer is a dark outline in front of the streetlamp lit window. „Two in the parking lot, two at the reception, and two are going around the building right now.“  
„Do they know I’m here?“  
Lucifer turns, and briefly the light from outside falls on a deep frown. „Save the stupid questions for later, Sam! Dress, get a weapon, get away from here!“  
Suddenly Sam can imagine him barking orders at lesser angels. And the part of Sam that his father has raised a good little soldier immediately reacts. He is up and grabbing his pants in an instant. Shirt and shoes come next. Then the machete from his duffle bag. He doesn’t bother with his gun, because it’ll do him no good against leviathans.  
When Sam slings his bag over his shoulder, Lucifer says: „Out back through the window. You won’t be able to avoid those two there, but at least it’s only two of them.“  
'Only' isn’t the word Sam would have used. Two leviathans are more than bad enough. But he opens the window and climbs out on a gravel path that goes around the building.  
To his left he spots two dark figures in the dim light. They spot him, too. There’s a shout.  
„Run!“ Lucifer is right beside him. Only when Sam sprints down the gravel path he realizes how much he’s relying on the devil right now. Shouts and footsteps behind him are proof enough that the danger is real though. Or at least real enough that he’s not going to risk anything.  
„I won’t be able to outrun them.“  
„You don’t have to. Turn right, when you reach the street.“  
The motel is on the edge of town. Back here there’s nothing but shrubs and the street leading out of town. When Sam turns right and risks a quick glance back at his pursuers, bushes block his view. Which means they can’t see him either.  
„Good,“ Lucifer says. „Wait here.“  
Sam comes to a halt. It’s a perfect place for an ambush. All he has to do is wait for the leviathans to turn the corner. „Nice thinking.“ He raises the machete.  
„Oh, please, Sam. I was fighting enemies, before your species even existed.“  
The first leviathan comes into view. Sam swings the blade, and one head thuds to the ground. The second guy tries to grab him. Sam jumps back, kicks and makes him lose his balance. The second head joins the first only instants later.  
„This’ll only slow them down a bit.“  
„That’s enough,“ Lucifer says. „Circle around back to the main street. There are some cars parked there.“  
Sam starts to move again, until he reaches the back of the house next to the motel. In it’s shadow he sneaks back to the street. There’s a rusty minivan parked there. Since Dean is gone with the Impala, this’ll have to do.  
On his way to the car, Sam looks at Lucifer for the first time since he left the room. The devil has let himself fall back a bit, looking in the direction they’ve come from. „They’re catching up again.“  
No surprises there.  
Lucifer turns to Sam. „Better hurry ...“ His eyes go wide. „Behind you!“  
Sam spins around. His machete leaves a deep cut in his new opponent’s chest, but the leviathan only laughs. He opens his mouth wider and wider until rows over rows of needle sharp teeth are all Sam can see. Then he’s over Sam.  
Sam’s back hits the car, and the leviathan grabs his weapon hand. The next instant he bites down. Automatically Sam raises his left arm in defence. Needle sharp teeth sink into his flesh, and he grunts from the pain. But at least the thing didn’t rip his throat out.  
Even though it hurts like hell Sam shoves back with the arm that’s caught between the leviathan’s jaws. He gets his weapon’s hand free, and finally he manages a clean cut through that thing’s neck.  
The body crumbles to the ground.  
The head is still attached to Sam’s arm. Gross.  
„The other two are almost here,“ Lucifer says.  
No time. Sam forces the leviathan’s jaws open with his machete, kicks the head away. One blow, and the window on the driver’s side of the car shatters. He opens the door and curses, while he tries to jump start the engine basically one handed.  
„Sam!“ Lucifer sounds more urgent now. Finally the engine comes to life. Sam steps on the gas.

\------------

Blood drips from the wound in Sam’s arm, while he pulls his bag from the back seat of the stolen car. He’s driven far enough to make sure that the leviathans didn’t follow him. He’s parked the car at an empty highway picnic area, where he’s spotted a wooden bench and table. He sits with his back to the table, bag next to him, and pulls off the fabric of his shirt, that clings to the wound. Dried blood flakes off, and the bleeding gets worse. Great.  
Lucifer’s standing in front of him, arms folded, and stares at the wound as if it has personally offended him. „If I was here in person ...“  
Sam scoffs. „Then I’d have one more problem to deal with.“  
All in all the wound doesn’t look that bad though. Every single one of the leviathan’s teeth left a clean hole in his flesh, but the muscles still seem to work, even though it hurts like hell when he moves his hand or fingers. Sam rummages in his bag for needle and thread.  
Lucifer paces up and down. „I’d make them pay for hurting my ...“  
„Stop it, Lucifer!“ He finds what he’s been looking for. „I’m not your anything.“  
The fallen Angels lets out a frustrated sound, that’s almost a growl. He comes to an abrupt halt in front of Sam, his fingers ghost over the wound, and the cold numbs the pain a bit. Sam looks up and directly into blue eyes that seem to glow a bit brighter than usual. The rest of Lucifer’s face would have been a perfect fit for some renaissance painting of an avenging angel. Sam shivers. „Calm down, will you? Less biblical wrath, okay?“  
After a moment, the glow vanishes from Lucifer’s eyes, but his face stays dark.  
„I’ve had worse,“ Sam assures him. In the pit for example, but it doesn’t seem like a good time to mention that. Carefully Sam places the needle at the edge of his wound. „And you’ll like this, I guess.“  
He shoves the needle into his flesh.  
A faint smile tugs at Lucifer’s lips. „Compared to what you can do with my wings, this isn’t that great after all.“

\------------

It takes five stitches. Sam bandages his arm as best as he can with only one hand. Lucifer is still sitting next to him. „If I ever find a way out of this cage, Dick Roman is a dead man.“  
„Dick Roman is a dead man anyway ... or leviathan ... whatever ... Me and Dean, we're working on it.“ Sam isn’t sure what to think about Lucifer acting all protective. It would have been flattering, except that it seems to come from the fact that the devil considers Sam his property.  
Sam gets up, and sways a bit, blood loss making him dizzy. Suddenly Lucifer is there, holds him, however that works. „Let me try something.“  
„What?“ Sam asks.  
„There are pieces of me in your soul. Not enough to heal you, but ...“  
Before Sam can protest, Lucifer’s fingers touch his forehead, and the cold emanating from them is stronger than ever. It clears Sam's thoughts, spreads through the rest of his body. And deep inside him something answers. For a moment a wisp of archangel fills the hole in his chest. The dizzyness vanishes.  
„What ...?“  
„I replaced the blood you lost.“ Lucifer’s hand lingers, pushes a strand of hair out of Sam’s eyes. Not that Sam’d ever admit it, but he’s glad about the prolonged contact, glad that he can still feel the distant hum of Lucifer’s grace under the fallen angel’s skin. „Also,“ Lucifer says, „the wound may heal a bit faster.“  
It should worry him that the devil has at least some control over his body, but he’s still a bit high on adrenalin, and Lucifer’s the one who had his back during the fight. Sam should not trust him as much as he does, but ...  
As if on accident Lucifer’s thumb brushes over Sam’s lower lip, and every single thought just ... stops. Sam gasps.  
Finally the last traces of anger vanish from Lucifer’s face, are replaced by a mischievous grin. „If I’d known, how fast it’ll make you like me, I’d have shown you my wings years ago.“  
„Do you have to comment on everything? Can’t you just shut up for a while?“  
„Make me.“  
Sam wants to wipe that grin from Lucifer’s face, wants to do something the fallen angel doesn’t expect. At least that’s what he tells himself, when he leans forward for a kiss.  
The devil kissing back with enthusiasm hadn’t been part of the plan. A forked tongue sneaks between Sam’s lips, and he breathes a sound inside Lucifer’s mouth that’s part surprise and part arousal.  
When they part, Sam’s panting and doubting his own sanity again. So much for not doing something stupid while Dean is gone. Sam turns away abruptly, collects his things, and tries to ignore the fact that Lucifer looks very smug on their way back to the car.  
Back on the road Lucifer is the one to break the silence. „That was a very human thing to do.“  
„Well, you didn’t seem to mind being dragged down to my level.“  
Lucifer chuckles. „It proved a point.“  
„Is that right?“  
For a while there’s silence again. „You’re mine,“ Lucifer says finally. „And you know it. You crave contact, even after everything I’ve done to you.“  
Sam presses his lips into a thin line. But getting angry won’t do him any good. „Okay, let’s turn this around then,“ he says instead. „Two parts of a perfect whole. That’s not a one sided thing, isn’t it? Which means, you’re mine, too. My personal archangel.“ And Sam wants to be damned, if that doesn’t sound good. „How do you like that?“  
Judging from Lucifer’s face he doesn’t like it at all. Now it’s Sam’s turn to grin.  
For a moment the fallen angel looks like he wants to argue, wants to point out that he’s older and more powerful, that Sam was made for him, not the other way around. But after a moment he relaxes. He turns in his seat a bit and he just stares at Sam, perfectly still and silent. Sam’s pretty sure he doesn’t even breath. Not that he has to anyway.  
It’s unsettling.  
Sam’s almost relieved, when Lucifer talks again. „You think you can just turn this around?“  
„Why not? You’re so much better than me?“  
Lucifer raises an eyebrow. „We’re not equal, Sam.“  
„And there I thought you’d lost most of that arrogance, when I shoved you back into your cage,“ Sam shoots back. „After winning control over my body back from you, by the way. Tell me again, how we’re not equal.“  
He half expects Lucifer to get angry again, but the fallen angel surprises him by looking amused. He leans back in his seat, and for a while the only sound comes from the engine of the car.  
„Your personal archangel, hm?“ Lucifer says after a while.  
„You can’t leave that topic alone, can you?“  
Lucifer grins. „Never. Also, I like that you said archangel.“  
It’s always the small things that come back to bite you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you, but the thought that Lucifer might consider a human equal to himself, even when it's Sam, didn't quite feel right to me. Kind of like that you can love your dog a lot and even consider it your friend, but it's still a dog and often a bit stupid.  
> 


	8. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _„Can you say it? Can you appologize?“_  
>  Lucifer frowns. „I won’t ask forgiveness.“  
> „And I’m not saying I’ll forgive you. I just want to hear that you’re sorry.“  
> „And then what?“  
> „Maybe I’ll feel better.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last chapter. And I decided to bring Castiel in at last. I tried to keep it as close to what happend in the series as possible, but since I changed a few things that lead up to this, it's different. This story doesn't have the AU tag for nothing.

He calls Dean, and they agree to meet at another highway picnic area. Sam gets there first, so he just leans back in the seat of his car and closes his eyes. His arm hurts, and he’s starting to feel some bruises he must have gotten during the fight.  
„Here they are,“ Lucifer says.  
„They?“ Sam opens his eyes and sees the Impala parking next to his stolen car. Both doors open. Dean climbs out the driver’s side. And on the other ...  
„Cas?“  
Sam ignores his protesting body, when he gets out of his car faster than he should have. The angel is wearing his trenchcoat again. Dean must have given it to him, because he had been carrying it around since they thought Cas was dead.  
Castiel greets Sam with a smile full of guilt. „Hello Sam.“  
„We thought you were dead!“ But Sam shouldn’t be that surprised. People coming back from the dead has become a normal part of his life by now. He’s done it twice himself.  
It takes Dean a while to explain what happened. How he’d seen a picture of Cas online and how he’d gone to check it out. He’d found Cas under the name of Emmanuel without any memories about what had happened. He was doing miracle healings, and Dean figured he might be able to help, so he took him along. On the way they stumbled into some demons and that’d brought Castiel’s memories back.  
While Dean is talking, Cas heals Sam’s wounds. „I’m sorry, Sam,“ he says. „It’s my fault you’re seeing Lucifer. I destroyed those walls around the memories of your time in hell.“  
Sam glances over to where Lucifer is leaning against the rusty car, arms crossed, face impassive, while he’s staring at Cas. „We’ve come to an arrangement.“  
„Yeah, about that,“ Dean says. „Cas, can you check if Lucy is saying the truth about not beeing able to use Sammy to get out?“  
„I can try.“ Castiel looks at Sam. „Sam?“  
Sam nods in agreement, and Cas presses two fingers against his forehead. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Lucifer coming closer. „Little brother.“  
Cas turns his head and looks at him. „Lucifer.“  
„Great,“ Dean says. „Now I’m the only one here, who’s not able to see Sam’s imaginary friend? I feel like I haven’t been invited to a mad house party.“  
Sam doesn’t know, what Castiel is doing. It hurts a little, but not as much as it had, when the angle had examined his soul.  
„Lucifer is telling the truth,“ he says after while. „He can’t use his link to Sam to get out of the cage.“  
Lucifer shoves his hands in his pockets and rolls his eyes. „Surprise. I didn’t lie. Because I never do. Really, I don’t know, where that bad reputation is coming from.“  
Sam snorts.  
„So,“ Dean says, „can you get him out of Sam’s head?“  
Lucifer goes very still, and Sam feels a little sick all of a sudden without knowing exactly why, but none of them says anything.  
„I ...“ Castiel pauses. „I could maybe take him over.“  
Just thinking about never being able to touch Lucifer’s wings again makes Sam want to scream no to this idea.  
„You mean, you can take him into your own head?“ Dean asks.  
Cas nods. „That way Sam wouldn’t have to make ... arrangements anymore. But Lucifer would still have a link to the world outside his cage.“  
„Which he doesn’t deserve at all,“ Dean insists.  
Sam tries to tune out his brother and think. He knows he should want nothing more than to get rid of the devil. But he can still feel that stupid kiss on his lips and he remembers how he’d felt, when he’d touched Lucifer’s wings. How he’d felt almost whole. How he’d felt save fighting those Leviathans, because Lucifer had been there to have his back.  
Finally Sam steps back so that Castiel's finger no longer touch his forehead. He avoids looking at Lucifer. „Let me think about this.“  
Dean stares at him. „What’s there to think about? Even if it’s somehow important to you that we don’t just let Lucy rot in his cage ... I’d feel a lot better with him roaming around in Cas’s head, because he’s an angel and you’re ... you’re ...“  
„You’re his freak of a brother that tends to make stupid decisions,“ Lucifer finishes, and Sam flinches. „Also, he’s more stupid then I thought, if he thinks Castiel stands a chance against me.“  
„Not helping, Lucifer,“ Sam hisses. He takes a few deep breaths. Stay calm. Stay calm. „Just a moment, Dean.“  
Dean looks like he wants to protest, but Cas puts a hand on his shoulder, and he nods.  
With that Sam turns to the fallen angel.  
„Do you want to get rid of me, Sam?“ Lucifer asks.  
If only he knew. Sam concentrates on the bits and pieces he remembers from his time in the cage. Pain and fear and Lucifer staring at him like he’s the most fascinating thing in the world. This is who he’s dealing with here. He can’t forget that.  
But now and here Lucifer drops his gaze as if he knows what Sam’s thinking about. And there’s guilt on his face. Regret. Emotions Sam hadn’t even thought he was capable of. And Sam doesn’t know, if he’ll ever be able to forgive, but seeing the devil having regrets ...  
It shouldn’t matter though. „Don’t tell me you want to stay with a human,“ he says maybe a bit more harshly than he’d wanted to, „when you can hitch a ride with an angel.“  
Lucifer takes a step towards him. „You’re not just any human, Sam. And I don’t ... quite belong with angels any more.“  
He sounds sad saying this, and Sam understands. They’re both freaks, the devil and the boy with the demon blood. They don’t quite belong anywhere, except maybe to each other.  
„You want to stay?“  
Lucifer nods. „If you’ll have me.“  
That sounds a bit too familiar for Sam’s liking, and Lucifer seems to sense that, because he shakes his head. „I’m not asking you to say the word yes, Sam. I know you won’t around me. I’m just asking, what you want. It’s your decision.“ He pauses. „It’s not like I could force you to decide one way or the other, even if I wanted to anyway.“  
And that does it. This time Sam actually has a choice. And it’s not even final. He can still ask Cas to take over later.  
He takes a deep breath and turns to Dean and Cas. „Can he stay with me a bit longer?“  
Maybe he imagines it, but Lucifer relaxes instantly.

\-----

Cas accepts his decision with a curt nod. But Dean doesn’t take it that well. Or well at all. „Sammy, he’s not a dog. Don’t go all ‚He followed me home, can I keep him?’ on me here!“  
„Dean, he was pretty useful the last few weeks. And you heard Cas, he can’t do any harm!“  
„Do I have to remind you what happened the last time you made friends with a demon?“  
„Demon?“ Sam and Lucifer say in unisono. It’s hard to tell, which one of them sounds more offended.  
„Ah, yeah ... right,“ Dean says. „Sorry. Not demon. This time it’s the devil himself. That’s so much better, isn’t it?“  
Sam sighs. „If it makes you feel better, you can have Cas watching me closely. If he thinks something’s fishy, do whatever you have to. But give me this chance to ...“ To what? He doesn’t know exactly. „To work through this my way.“  
Dean still doesn’t look happy, but finally he sighs. „Okay. Whatever. Just promise you’ll tell me, if something goes wrong.“  
Sam smiles. „I promise.“  
Dean nods and turns to walk back to the Impala.  
„I think he’s starting to like me.“ Lucifer grins.

\-----

They spend most of the drive in silence with two angels in the back seat. As soon as they find a motel, Dean and Cas vanish. Sam guesses they have a lot to discuss. He just lets himself fall back onto his bed.  
After a moment the mattress dips under the weight of another body. Sam looks up into Lucifer’s eyes. Lucifer stares down at him like he’s the most fascinating thing in the world ...  
„Stop it.“  
A smile tugs on the corners of Lucifer’s lips. „What?“  
„You’re looking at me like you want to take me apart to see what makes me tick. And since I know as a fact that’s something you actually do from time to time ...“  
Lucifer turns away faster than Sam’d expected him to. For a moment there’s silence between them.  
„Do you regret it?“ Sam asks finally.  
Lucifer tilts his head to the side. „I’ve done a lot of things people think I should regret. Be a bit more specific.“  
„Hurting me.“  
„Yes.“  
Sam’s surprised at how good it feels to hear that. „Can you say it? Can you apologize?“  
Lucifer frowns. „I won’t ask forgiveness.“  
„And I’m not saying I’ll forgive you. I just want to hear that you’re sorry.“  
„And then what?“  
„Maybe I’ll feel better.“  
For a moment Lucifer goes completely still. Then he leans over, planting his hands on both sides of Sam’s head. „I’ve never apologized for anything ever before.“  
Sam tries not to be disappointed. What did he expect from the devil? He just lies there, looking up at Lucifer and wondering when he’ll start feeling uncomfortable again because of the closeness and the staring. But there’s something different in the way Lucifer looks at him this time.  
After a while the fallen angel clears his throat. „I’m sorry I broke my promise. I’m sorry I hurt you.“  
Oh, wow. Sam smiles. „Wasn’t that hard, was it?“  
But Lucifer just scowls, and Sam wonders, if he should feel honored, because the fucking Morningstar had just swallowed his pride for him. It definitely calls for some kind of reward, even if that makes it sound like Sam’s trying to train his archangel like a dog.  
Sam reaches up, lets his hand wander over Lucifer’s shoulder and feels the distant hum of Lucifer’s grace.  
Lucifer’s expression softens. „Don’t expect me to apologize to the rest of mankind as well.“  
Sam laughs. „If you were capable of doing that you could also make up with Michael, we could let you both out of the cage and kick leviathan’s ass together. And also end world hunger or something like that, because that’s how likely all of that’s going to happen.“  
„We could still kick leviathan’s ass together.“  
Sam shakes his head. Absent-mindedly he lets his fingers wander over Lucifer’s shoulder blades, seeking the spot where his wings should spring from. „I won’t let you out. I think ... I think I can trust you, while you’re down there in the cage. Trust that you’re not trying to harm me or Dean. But letting you out and hoping that you’ll not turn on mankind as soon as you’re done with the leviathans? Not going to happen.“  
He half expects Lucifer to make a show of hurt feelings, but the fallen angel doesn’t even try to protest. „So we’re keeping this a long distance relationship?“ he asks with a crooked smile.  
„We’re not in a re...“  
Suddenly Lucifer’s wings fill the room. They’re sprouting from the exact spot where Sam’s hand is lying on Lucifer’s back, and the sudden connection shoots up Sam’s arm right into his soul. He gasps, arches his head back, and ... yeah, okay, maybe that’s a moan falling from his lips.  
Lucifer’s grin turns smug. „Not in a what, Sam?“  
That’s the moment Sam should pull back and ask Castiel to take the devil out of his head. Instead Sam drags his fingers through a spot of pure light, enjoys the shockwaves that’s sending through his soul, watches how Lucifer’s breathing quickens. He’s Sam’s personal archangel, he has just swallowed his pride to apologize to him, and he’s the only beeing on the planet that can make Same feel whole.  
During the apocalypse Sam hadn’t been allowed to give in. But Lucifer can cause no harm now, Sam can allow himself to relax, to enjoy. Let better memories take the place of those from the cage.  
„Sam,“ Lucifer says hoarsely. „Our connection goes deeper than it does for most humans. I want to call this a relationship.“  
„You’re talking too much.“  
„Make me shut up.“  
Sam knows exactly what Lucifer is trying to provoke, but this ... thing ... they have is confusing enough without making it more physical. So instead of kissing the fallen angel Sam digs his nails into the spot, where Lucifer’s wings connect to his back. And who’s he kidding about not making this more physical? Because the sound Lucifer makes at that is unmistakably obscene.  
„Not the angel version of sex my ass.“  
Lucifer takes a few ragged breaths, before he can talk again. „Per definition sex is about procreation. Angels don’t do that.“  
„And you wonder why everybody thinks you’re lying all the time.“  
„I’m not lying. I’m telling nothing but the truth.“  
„You’re very good at telling nothing but the truth and lying at the same time.“  
Lucifer scoffs. „I told you this goes deeper than human sex. You just have to listen.“  
The next instant his lips are on Sam’s, and Sam breathes a startled sound into his mouth, before he shoves one hand in Lucifer’s hair and kisses back.  
„It’s also nothing but the truth that I’m starting to like certain human gestures.“  
Now it’s Sam, who needs some time to catch his breath. „You know, I don’t know why I kissed you before. I’m normally not into men. This should freak me out.“  
„I’m not a man. Archangel, remember?“  
Sam rolls his eyes. „Glad we talked about it.“  
„Sam, I’m normally not into humans. At all.“ Lucifer shifts his weight a bit and trails one finger down the side of Sam’s neck. His touch is cold and his grace hums under his skin. How could Sam ever forget he’s dealing with an archangel here? „How about this? We don’t expect anything normal from this and just find out what’s fun and what’s not. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have anything better to do for the next few decades.“  
Sam laughs. They’ll definitely need some time to sort this out. But he finds that he’s looking forward to it.  
„So,“ he says. „Long distance relationship it is.“  
„Until you decide to let me out.“  
„Won’t happen.“ Reluctantly, Sam pulls his hands back, tries to put some distance between them without getting up completely. „We have to be clear on this. If you get out without changing your views about mankind, we’ll be back to beeing enemies.“  
He looks up into Lucifer’s blue eyes, half expecting to see them light up in anger. But the fallen angel only nods. „You take what you get.“  
„You brought that upon yourself, you know?“  
„I know. Could be worse.“ And with that Lucifer’s wings move a little, and Sam reaches for them again. They don’t talk much after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. Tell me, if you think I missed something in wrapping this up.


End file.
